When a child feels upset, anxious, or angry, it can be hard for them to express what is going on inside. But there is a surprisingly simple and scientifically proven way to help, and that is by naming the feeling.
Neuroscientist Dr. Daniel Siegel calls this strategy “name it to tame it.” When we put feelings into words, the emotional center of the brain (the amygdala) begins to calm down, and the thinking center (the prefrontal cortex) switches on. This connection helps the brain move from reacting to reasoning.
In other words, when a child says, “I’m frustrated because my little brother broke my Lego tower,” they are practicing emotional regulation in real time. Instead of yelling or giving up, identifying the feeling helps them pause, calm down, and decide what to do next. They are not just describing an emotion; they are actively regulating it.
Emotions are part of how the brain keeps us safe. When we feel strong emotions, the body’s alarm system takes over, sending signals that prepare us to fight, flee, or freeze. But once we identify what we are feeling and name it, our brain chemistry shifts. Labeling emotions engages language and logic pathways that help restore balance.
It is a small action with a powerful impact: simply naming an emotion helps tame it.
This process builds emotional intelligence (EQ); the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in ourselves and others. A strong EQ is linked to better relationships, stronger mental health, improved decision-making, and even greater success in school and life.
You do not need a psychology degree to nurture EQ; you just need moments of attention and conversation. Here are a few simple, everyday activities that help children build emotional awareness and regulation at home, in the classroom, in everyday life situations:
Feelings Check-Ins
Start the day or wrap up bedtime with a quick feelings check. Ask, “What are you feeling right now? “As children grow, expand the feelings vocabulary beyond happy, sad, and mad, and consider explaining words like disappointed, proud, worried, calm, or hopeful.
Storytime Feelings
While reading or watching a show, pause and ask your child:
- “What do you think this character is feeling right now?”
- “What makes you think that?”
This builds empathy and emotion recognition in a fun, low-stakes way.
Calm Corners
If possible, create a cozy space with soft items, fidget tools, and feeling word posters. When emotions run high, guide children to pause there, breathe, and name what is happening.
It matters! When children learn to name their emotions, they discover that feelings are not problems to avoid, but instead they are signals to understand. This skill empowers them to respond rather than react, empathize with others, and navigate life’s challenges with confidence.
At Frameworks of Tampa Bay, we believe every child deserves these tools. Building emotional intelligence starts with small, everyday practices, and building their emotional vocabulary is one of the most powerful steps. When children can name what they feel, they can shape who they become.
Empowering youth with emotional intelligence starts with small daily moments, and it begins with us.
Warmly,
Elizabeth A. Reedy
CEO