How to Talk to Kids About Bullying
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How to Talk to Kids About Bullying

By November 2, 2026No Comments

When Frameworks of Tampa Bay’s Community Program Director Kimberly Slattery-Gaston asked a group of Tampa Bay-area parents what topics they’d like to see covered in future workshops, the response was overwhelming: how to talk to kids about bullying.

And for good reason. According to data from the National Center for Education Statistics, roughly 1 in 3 middle and high school students have reported experiencing bullying at school.

Whether it’s hurtful comments in the cafeteria, being excluded by classmates, or unkind messages in a group chat, no parent wants to see their child struggling. But knowing how to talk to kids about bullying isn’t always easy. Should you step in? Encourage them to stand up for themselves? Tell them to ignore it?

Our emotional intelligence experts have you covered. Here’s your guide on how to talk to kids about bullying.

How to Start the Conversation About Bullying

You don’t have to wait until bullying becomes an issue to talk about it. In fact, everyday conversations about school, friendships, and online interactions can help kids feel more comfortable coming to you when something isn’t right.

Look for natural opportunities to talk about how people treat one another, whether it’s something that happened at school or something in a book, movie, or TV show. You might ask:

You might ask:

  • “How are things going with your friends?”
  • “What was the best and worst part of your day?”
  • “Have you ever seen something like that happen at school? How did it make you feel?”

Give your child room to share their thoughts and feelings without judgment. The goal is to make talking about bullying an ongoing conversation, not a one-time lecture.

How to Recognize Bullying

Helping kids recognize bullying behaviors is an important first step. Talk about what bullying can look like, both in person and online, and encourage your child to notice how people treat one another.

When parents think about bullying, physical aggression may be the first thing that comes to mind. But research paints a different picture. According to data from the National Center for Education Statistics, being the subject of rumors and being made fun of, called names, or insulted were reported more frequently than physical behaviors, such as shoving or tripping.

Here are four common types of bullying:

  • Verbal bullying: Teasing, name-calling, or threatening someone. For example, a group of students repeatedly mocks a classmate’s clothes or calls them hurtful names.
  • Physical bullying: Hitting, shoving, or tripping someone. This might look like a student repeatedly pushing or intimidating another child in the hallway.
  • Relational bullying: Spreading rumors, deliberately excluding someone, or trying to damage their relationships with others. Think of a group of friends that intentionally leaves someone out or encourages other classmates not to include them.
  • Cyberbullying: Using texts, social media posts, comments, or gaming chats to hurt, embarrass, or threaten someone. For example, sharing embarrassing images of a classmate online or repeatedly posting hurtful comments about them. Unlike bullying that happens at school, cyberbullying can follow kids home and happen around the clock.

As you discuss these examples, ask your child whether they’ve seen anything similar at school or online. You might also talk about how the person experiencing the behavior could feel and what they might need from others.

5 Anti-Bullying Activities for Kids

Signs Your Child May Be Experiencing Bullying

Kids aren’t always eager to tell us when something is wrong. They might feel embarrassed, upset, or unsure how to explain what’s happening. That’s why it’s important to watch for changes in their behavior, too.

Some warning signs include:

  • Withdrawing from others: Spending more time alone or losing interest in friends, family, or activities they usually enjoy.
  • Avoiding school or social situations: Suddenly not wanting to go to school, attend group gatherings, or participate in activities.
  • Changes in grades or behavior: Struggling academically or acting out in anger at home.
  • Changes in mood or daily habits: Noticeable differences in their mood, sleep, or appetite.

Cyberbullying can bring additional clues. Your child might become upset after using their phone, seem nervous when a notification pops up, suddenly stop using a favorite app or device, or become unusually secretive about their online activities.

Remember, one behavior change doesn’t necessarily mean bullying is happening. Kids go through plenty of changes as they grow, particularly during the middle school years. What’s important is noticing patterns or behaviors that seem different from what’s typical for your child.

What to Do and Say If Your Child Is Being Bullied

If your child tells you they’re being bullied, your first instinct might be to jump in and fix things. But before you start problem-solving, take a moment to listen.

Start by reassuring your child.

Try saying:

  • “I’m really glad you told me.” Let them know they did the right thing by speaking up.
  • “That sounds really hurtful. How are you feeling?” Give them room to share their emotions without judgment.
  • “You don’t deserve to be treated that way.” Remind them that being bullied isn’t their fault.
  • “Let’s figure out what to do together.” Reassure them that they don’t have to handle the situation alone.

Then, help your child feel more prepared with these five strategies.

  1. Practice being assertive: Teach your child that standing up for themselves doesn’t mean being aggressive. Practice using calm, clear words to set boundaries, like “Stop. I don’t like that.” Talk about how eye contact, confident body language, and a steady tone can help communicate their message. Practicing ahead of time and thinking through what could happen prepares your child for real-life situations. It gives them the confidence to say something because they already feel comfortable with their response.
  2. Build their support network: Encourage your child to spend time with friends who make them feel included and supported. Clubs, sports, and other activities can help them connect with peers who share their interests. Even something as simple as choosing to sit with kind, respectful classmates at lunch can make a difference.
  3. Identify trusted adults: Ask, “Who are three adults you could go to if this happened at school?” Help your child identify a teacher, counselor, coach, or another trusted adult. Remind them that reporting bullying isn’t tattling, and they should seek help immediately if they feel unsafe. 
  4. Document what’s happening: If bullying continues, help your child document what happened, when and who was involved. For cyberbullying, save screenshots or messages, and talk about blocking or reporting harmful content. Share the information with the appropriate adults at school.
  5. Make a “What To Do If?” plan: Talk through scenarios before they happen. What if someone keeps making fun of you at lunch? What if you tell a teacher, but it keeps happening? For each situation, talk through what they could say, how they could stay safe and who they could turn to for help. 
Download What to Do If Worksheet

Key Takeaways: How to Talk to Kids About Bullying

  • Bullying has long been portrayed in movies and TV shows as just another part of growing up. But it doesn’t have to be. Parents, teachers, and kids all have a role to play in creating a culture where kindness and respect are the norm.
  • One of the most powerful things we can do is teach children that being kind isn’t the same as simply not being mean. It means noticing when someone is left out, including others, and speaking up when something isn’t right. These small, everyday choices can help shape a culture where bullying is less likely to thrive.
  • That’s why emotional intelligence matters. When children learn to recognize emotions, practice empathy, build healthy relationships and make responsible decisions, they’re better equipped to look out for themselves and one another.
  • Choose one strategy from this article to try with your child this week. Whether it’s starting a conversation, practicing a response, or identifying a trusted adult, small steps can help build the confidence and skills kids need to stand up for themselves and others. 

What to Do Next

Want more ways to help your child navigate the digital world? Check out our Internet Safety for Kids blog post for practical tips on staying safe online.

Want more practical parenting tools?
Frameworks of Tampa Bay offers interactive workshops (including more strategies for how to talk to your kids about bullying) that give parents and caregivers practical tools to help kids manage big emotions, navigate challenging situations and build healthier relationships.

Resources for ParentsResources for Teachers

About the Author

Julie Hughes is the Education Program Director at Frameworks of Tampa Bay, where she develops professional learning experiences and resources centered on emotional intelligence and relationship-building. Before joining Frameworks as a content specialist, Julie spent 20 years as an educator working with students across public, private, and charter schools. Her work focuses on helping students, families, and educators build stronger connections and supportive learning communities.

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